Friday, June 14, 2013

Assisted Living

I've got a great church. They are giving, they love the Lord and they will do anything short of sin to help anyone in trouble. In stark contrast, I do it all myself. I'm giving but I'm shrewd. I'm also extremely prideful. I'd rather die than ask for help. I'd rather get lost than ask for directions. (Amber nods her head yes in agreement from six hours away.) 

In short, I hate asking for help. So I had to ask my pastor for help yesterday. He was receptive to everything I said and agreed that, currently, I cannot make ends meet and make a big contribution to the youth group. So he called me today and said the personnel committee wants to meet with me on Sunday and talk over how we can get things resolved. 

 It's the most awkward thing in the world to write a letter to your church's personnel committee basically asking for money. It's like I was asking for another fix. I really didn't like it. But then again, I don't like asking for anything. I'm the guy that tries to slip that $20 back in mom's purse after she hands it to me. I once got sad because my bank card declined (it was broken) and Amber had to pay for movie tickets on a date night. Yeah, I'm THAT guy. Money is a big deal to me. For me, it's security. It's comfort. I know the value of money because I've never had it. And when I don't have any, it's a devastating thing for me. 

So I wrote the awkward letter with my monthly expenses, my future education certificate expenses, and future goals, gave them MY numbers (might as well be number) and reasoned. I won't divulge anything from that because it's private, of course. 

When Clay called me today, I just wept after we hung up our phones. "God provided again". Just like He always does. 

In all this, I can feel God reminding of His words. 

rdo not be anxious about anything, sbut in everything by prayer and supplication twith thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And uthe peace of God, vwhich surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Phil. 4:6,7 ESV)


25 "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matt. 6:25-34)

I'm seeking His kingdom and He is still providing for me. He's a good dad. 
Happy Fathers day, by the way. (In two days!)

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