Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Being An Adult
In the end, I wish I were still in college. If I had done what I was really supposed to, I would be for one more year. Block three and student teaching. And I'd also be miserable. I know that what I'm doing is what I'm supposed to do. I know it's how it's supposed to go. And I know that, not because it's mind-numbingly difficult (and it is!) but I know that because I have a peace that comes with it. I don't feel pressed to make payments or whatever. And why should I? God has been providing for me every since I got here! If I've been in a tight spot, He has covered me. Someone hands me $50 bucks in Sunday church. Someone brings a washer and dryer. Someone gives me a fridge. I've been blessed, not so I can succeed, but so I can bless others. And that's the whole reason why I'm even in Lindsay! The church brought me here. My school job only came after I committed, and MOVED, to Lindsay. Through this whole things, three different verses (and stories) have come to me over and over.
1) Abram and his big move! "The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and you will be a blessing to others." (Genesis 12:1,2 NLT) Abram had to leave everything he had, everything he knew and follow God into the wilderness. God started something magnificent through Him and Abram had to have faith, though failing many times, that God WOULD do those things.
2) What love is. "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless! But love will last forever." (1 Cor. 13:7,8) You hear it at weddings. Really, sweet right? But in my life, this isn't just for Amber or my family any one one particular person. What does Jesus say to the Pharisees in Matthew? "...'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' The entire law and the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments." (Matt. 22:37-40) and again, "And the King will say, 'I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" (Matt. 25:40) Love is more than romantic and more than family. It is desiring the best for those around you, and we're all called to do that. I'm fortunate enough to have a youth group and a band full of students to do that for. I don't have kids yet. So, for now, God has called me to this region for these kids. And I have to remember that when I get discouraged, because it happens frequently.
3) It isn't about me "Who is this who darkens counsel with words lacking knowledge?" (Job 38:1) Yesterday, I yelled at God. Well, I screamed at him. And I was cussing mad. Things weren't going my way and I didn't take to that. So I assumed I knew better than God. He quickly showed me otherwise. He basically said, "Remember Job? Keep going, kid." And so I did. And things have been fine. I struggle and try to kick out of His grasp but He holds on to me tighter. Sometimes He lets me out of His arms and try to cold world by myself but then I whine and He picks me up. So I tie that all around to say that, sometimes being adult means being a kid. It means staying in Dad's arms and just letting Him take care of the day. And I'm learning that more and more every day. He shows me how to love others with His kind of love. He shows me how to love Amber and my family with His kind of love and He tutors me in His ways, because I don't stand a chance without His teaching. So... Yeah... Pray for me!