Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Gingers: Origins

In the morn of humanity’s existence, when all was new and primitive, humans lived in fear of vampires. Yes, vampires; the blood sucking terrors of the night. But before you disregard this story, pay heed. This isn’t a tale of vampires that are nice to humans. No. This is about a second class race that has preformed first class deeds, not the least of which is making the Vampires extinct. And before you close out and block that thought from your mind, think on this. How many Real Vampires have you seen? How many Gingers have you seen? Exactly.

Ginger Spawn

The Vampires rules everything under the iron fist of King Cladius. The young king of 200 years had his first child, a baby girl. However, this one was different. Before I can tell you the differences, though, I must tell you how Vampires are since fakers like Stephanie Meyer have ruined their image. Vampires are cold, emotionless beings. When I say emotionless, I mean to the humans. They love each other. Now, Vampires do drink blood; human blood. Not that animal blood those stupid “Veggie Vamps” drink. Animal blood literally has no quality to it. But I digress. Vampires are all jet black hair, and black eyes. Pale skin (that doesn’t sparkle in the sun) and they are drawn to darker colors.
Now, Cladius was the king of the Vampire tribe in Sparta. Like the humans, these Vampires were known as the toughest fighters in the world. Cladius’s child was born with pale skin, like a Vampire. However, she had fiery red hair and sapphire blue eyes. Predictably, she was called Ginger. And she was the first Ginger person. The first Ginger was a genetic mutation, a chance.


Ginger was trained like all other Vampire children. They were taught to kill prey with speed and stealth from a young age. At this, Ginger failed at first. She was not nearly as fast as a Vampire. Though her mind could react faster, her body wasn’t as fast. Later in the Vampire battle master, Formalis’s, notes he wrote,

“Ginger is stronger than any Vampire I have ever seen. She can produce more damage than any three Vampires at a time. However, her fang venom doesn’t produce. Her saliva, however, as qualities has the wet quality of water, but the burning quality of Greek Fire. She can control whether this weapon is used in its entirety though. In addition, she is immune to Sol. She will turn pink; however, death does not greet her.”

After deliberation, the Vampires condemned Ginger to be executed. However, Cladius made sure she escaped the night before. The redheaded maiden escaped to the capitol of Sparta and settled and had a family. The Ginger race began in chaos.


Ginger took a human husband and had many, many children. Centuries passed and Persia was at the door of Spartan; Thermopylae. In these past years, the Vampires migrated to other lands, scared of the Ginger’s betrayal. When Persia attacked Sparta, it seemed as though it would be a simple go find redheads and kill them mission. However, 300 men stood in the way. Led by mighty Leonidus, the 300 Spartans held the Persian invaders back long enough for the rest of Greece to ready itself. This, however, would not have been possible without the Gingers in the Warrior-King’s ranks.

Thanks to their sacrifice, the Ginger race was preserved and Greece maintained its freedom from Persian rule. For thousands of years more, important moments in history were decided between these two races. The Punic Wars between Rome and Persia, Battle of Hastings, the Hundred Years’ War. Roman expansion pushed Vampires back into Gaul, present day France, where they stayed until the French Revolution.

The American Revolution was a tactical defeat and victory for the Gingers, who were represented by the English. France, where the Vampires resided, aided the Americans. The Vampires came too, seeing as how fighting Gingers what they did. When the Gingers realized this, Mort Holmes (leader of the Gingers) called them all to enter France, while the Vampire hordes were away.

When they returned, a Ginger under the alias Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre, a man instrumental in France’s Reign of Terror, called for the killing of those that threatened freedom. These, “oddly enough” were the Vampires. By the time Robespierre was executed by guillotine in 1794, the Vampires were wiped from the Earth, a whisper in history. Thanks to this nameless Ginger, his race is preserved to this day.

Think about it… Gingers are around. No one has seen a legitimate vampire. Ever.

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